To be honest, I don't really know what to write in this entry. It just that I want to tell others what I feel right now, but I just don't found the right person yet to say everything out loud. Yet, I also don't know what to tell, what do I really feel, what do I hope I feel. I also do not know myself either. I just need someone to hold me tight, stare right into my eyes and said, just let it out, you can trust me.
Yeah, I have trust issues. I do not trust people easily. I don't share my problems easily even to my family. I need a person who I can trust to keep my secrets, to comfort me, to listen to my problems, to advice me. It's true that I have my best friends, my mum, my dad, my sisters. It's just that I don't really have the courage to trust them. It's not that they can't be a good listener or can't keep my secrets. It's really had nothing to do with them. It is me who had problems right now. I have a major trust issues. And I don't think it can be cured. Can it?
Anyway, I really need to sort out my feelings and my emotions. I really love my family and my friends, I really do. It's just that I don't have the courage to trust them. I'm sorry I'm like this. I truly am.
Maybe it was His way to call me to return to Him? Who knows? Wallahualam.
This is one of the reason why I don't like to be all alone. Banyak berfikir is not really good. haha Yeah, I'm all alone in these past five days. May Allah bless Fatin Amirah binti Mohammed Hasrori, for her courage to stay alone even at night in that empty room :)
p/s: Missing home badly :'(
I bought brand new a rainbow umbrella and I am so happy! :D
- amira_hasrori -