30 Days Challenge : Day 5

Assalamualaikum :)

Walaikumussalam.

Day 5: At time you thought about ending your own life.

I think I had wrote this topic somewhere in this blog? Yup, I, amira hasrori, not once but a few times had thoughts about ending my own life. But because my brain is still functioning well and can still think rationally despite in those situations, I just ended up sleeping with a wet pillow on my head. Get what I mean?

There was a time when I was depressed. Started from 13 years old? And it build up until I was 20. Now? I don't think I am depressed anymore. Alhamdulillah :)

There was one time, when my bestfriend left me without any words. She isolated me, she didn't want to meet me, she didn't want to have any conversation with me, not even an eye contact! I was in despair at that particular time. I was sixteen, I had difficulties of making friends, and she came into my life. I feel loved and I love her so much. But what she did to me was beyond my expectation.

I'm in despair. I don't even know what to do. I become depressed. I was just sixteen. My hormones must've been stirring my emotion at that time. I was thinking on drinking the whole bottle of cough syrup, eat all the medicine that I had, but I don't remember why I didn't proceed to that. Maybe I thought that there is still a long way for me to go. People come and people go in my life. Many of them just say a simple, "Hi!" and a few of them steal my heart along the way. And she is one of them. 

I thank to God that today, I can still standing proud and say that I am alive and thank to God that gives me the brain to think rationally at those time and I didn't end up dead in my own hand. 

Dear depressed people,

Please seek for help if you are in the situation like me. Don't be foolish and end your life. There are too many things in this world that can give you happiness. Do not give up. Love yourself.

There's no one else that can love yourself more than you do :)

- amira_hasrori -